Dating is hard, and not in the good way 😛
Here are some of the issues that I have seen come up not only in my own relationships but in my friend’s as well and some of the ways that indeed we find love does conquer all. If it is working well, and you think it is worth a little extra effort then you and he both deserve to give things a shot, even if it seems challenging at first, but your soul mate or best butt buddy (my roomie HATES when I say that!) is out there, somewhere.
Like a good shoe, finding the right fit can be hard…ahem, I’m going to say difficult from now on, so I don’t inadvertently titillate when I am trying to inspire. But even when you find that fab friend with benefits, there are going to be a few issues.
He’s above your pay grade, (or you are above his)
He can or you can buy stuff and have a lifestyle that the other can’t and that can cause friction and not the delicious friction we do so love (OK, I am gonna stop soon I promise)
We don’t want to feel like either the sugar baby or sugar daddy, so how to deal? Decide what to do and where to go first and make a budget, so you don’t end up in La Petite Portions that cost a fortune (poet-know it) Also, allow the one who makes more to indulge you now and then, just as long as neither feels taken advantage of, it’s an easy hurdle to jump.
You’re a little bit homie…he’s a little bit downtown
One of you likes to party and the other likes to stay at home.
This happens very frequently, as the shy shrinking violet does catch the eye of the social butterfly. They can have a perfectly harmonious relationship as long as both do make some attempt to meet in the middle and have a tolerance for the other’s independence and preference. Let him go have a drink with his friends now and then and he will let you stay home with Ben & Jerry and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy.
You’re a bottom, he’s a bottom (wouldn’t you like to be a …)
It may not be evident for a while as maybe neither one of you wanted to jump right into bed and when you finally did, the excitement of it all may have swept away the fact that neither of you is particularly er…’top-heavy’, as it were.
This is no biggie, because we are talking about sex after all. A little talking about it and a little experimentation gets the job done. Discover your Verruca Salt “I want it now” side and see what he is like when he discovers his. Make sure you do try to keep it up though (oh dear I did it again!) as it is easy to slide back into familiar roles and you don’t want to lose a good thing.
Best of luck in love kiddies!