Before we can tackle this oh-so-difficult issue, we must first identify what a power bottom is. There are a few different concepts of power bottoms out there, so we’re going to go with my version (which happens to also be the right one. Lucky you!). Power bottoms are usually bottoms who aren’t sexually submissive.
Instead, they’re the dominant ones during a romp, telling their top(s) how they want it, when they want it, and heaven help them if they don’t give it as demanded. Power bottoms are attractive to tops that don’t always want to be in control. Expected to be in control all the time just because a guy is physically bigger or delivering can be stressful. It’s nothing but a stereotype to believe that certain sexual acts should equate certain power dynamics in bed. But with a power bottom, there’s more direction, less guesswork, and more confidence in a top giving a bottom what he wants. Everybody wins.
Bossy bottoms, on the other hand, are also demanding in bed, but more because they’re, well, bossy. Usually, bossy bottoms are the way they are because they’re bossy in every arena in their lives. They’re known to be high maintenance, stressed out, and controlling. They have a hard time delegating tasks or letting someone else take the reins. So when they see a penis coming at them, they’re going to tell that little friend what’s up. There’s no compromising with such a personality; you do what a bossy bottom says.
So the bottom (heh) line on the difference between a bossy bottom and a power bottom is…kind of like an agreement or understanding between partners. A power bottom behaves as such because there’s been a discussion about power dynamics and who does what. A bossy bottom is just being a diva.
*Some other popular concepts for a power bottom are: somebody who has a body size more physically akin to the stereotype of a top, or a bottom that can seriously take a lot of dick. (Like, seriously take a lot of dick.)