Asking someone for their number can really suck. Most of us start psyching ourselves out, getting tongue-tied and awkward, the end result being left numberless and forever alone. What a sad, sad state of affairs. But, there are ways around this, even for us shyer types. It’s all about how you approach the situation. Below are five ways you can turn the tables in your favor when you want to move forward with that cute guy you’ve just met.
Wait for a Connection
Personally, one of the only times I’ll shoot a guy down when he asks for my number is because he’s a complete stranger to me. I’d rather not be murdered tonight, thank you very much. It’s best to ask a guy for his number after you’ve sat down and started talking with him. The time frame is pretty vague: you can wait 30 minutes, a few hours, when the party is over, whenever. Just make sure that, when you ask, there’s an obvious spark happening between you two. That spark is the reason you’re asking for the dude’s number and the dude will be able to recognize that. To ask without a spark makes your proposal look like it’s pointless, which in turn will make you look desperate. Unless you’re both just looking to get laid, don’t do that.
Give Him Your Number
Do you really want to know how to get his number? Well then I’ll let you in on a little secret: don’t ask him his number, ask him if you can give him yours. It’s less creepy and stalker-ish that way, giving him the opportunity to not feel pressured. If he outright declines, then politely bow out. But the fact of the matter is that rejection of a number offer rarely happens. Even if someone isn’t interested, they’ll usually still take it in good faith. You’ll know if he’s interested or not if/when he contacts you. The best case scenario is it’ll prompt him to simply give you his number in return.
Find Out Something Quirky He Likes to Do
Maybe he really likes fishing, but living in an oh-so-posh city these days, he rarely comes across anybody who’d want to do it with him. Be his rare beacon of hope, even if you’ve never fished before. Tell him you’d love to give it a try because you want to see what all the fuss is about. Your cutie will likely appreciate the gesture and hand over his number damn quick when you suggest he pop your fishing cherry. If you truly don’t enjoy fishing, well, consider this good practice if you want to get him to boyfriend territory. If it’s something he truly loves, you’ll need to learn to deal.
Toy With Him… Just a Little
If you’re seriously scared of asking for his number or asking to give him your own, there’s a fairly innocent way into manipulating him to break that thick layer of ice. If your conversation is going really well (and it should be), make an excuse to duck out at one of the high points. Don’t wait for one of the lulls. Bonus points if you look at your phone first before disappointedly stating that you need to go. If he’s been enjoying your company as much as you’ve been enjoying his, he won’t let you get away that easy. He’ll snag a number exchange before you leave. The problem is you really do need to head out from wherever you are, though. If he finds you’re still at the same club or party 20 minutes later, it won’t bode well.
Don’t Get Pushy
This is crucial, especially since it happens pretty frequently in flirty world. If you ask for a number and the guy seems hesitant or unsure, don’t try to force him into it. Even if you succeed in pressuring him to give you his number, you definitely haven’t won his favor. If anything, he’ll blow you off from that point on. Nobody wants to do something they don’t want to do. If he rejects you, just accept his choice gracefully. He could very well not be looking to date right now. If that’s the case and you run into him later, he’ll remember that you weren’t a douche to him. Something could certainly come of that when he’s ready to date.