Anybody who says relationships are easy doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Every gay relationship worth its salt is going to have problems at one time or another. It could be something two people face together, like a foreclosure. Or something one partner has that the other needs to provide support for, like depression. Or it could be something that pits one partner against the other, such as a disagreement about political stances or where the mother-in-law is going to stay. The fact is that life isn’t going to stop just because you’re in a relationship. And while any of the above scenarios may be scary at first, your relationship will be that much stronger by getting through them. Take a look at some of the most common problems or tensions relationships have and how they can best be handled!
Discussing Irritations & Pet Peeves
Communication is the single most essential thing to the success of a relationship. If you keep even minor, ongoing irritations to yourself, you’ll eventually blow up at your partner in disproportionate ways and put the very relationship at risk. So don’t toss away everything you’ve worked for in this relationship. Talk it out! To make it easier, ask for compromise. Say you’ll be more mindful of an irritating thing you do if your partner is more mindful of an irritating thing he does. Just remember to hold up your end of the bargain.
Full-on arguments can ensue from just about anything. The key, however, is how you exactly handle them. Don’t call each other names, try to assign blame on one another, or otherwise turn arguments into something only one of you can win. Handle conflict productively. Instead of seeing it as a tool for tearing down what you two have together, use it was a way to further build you up. Listen as a way to understand each other’s points of view, validate them, and then work together to find a way to make both of you happy.
Spending Time Without Each Other
At first, you may want to be around each other constantly. But as time goes on, you’ll start to realize all of the friends you’ve been ditching and all of the fun opportunities you’ve missed by not having a night on your own. Of course, this isn’t a suggestion to break up or have ill feelings toward your beau. Instead, you just need to start recognizing that tons of face time doesn’t automatically make you a stronger couple than those that spend less time together. You were both individual humans once. It’s important to never cast that aside entirely. While it’s important to spend quality time together, it’s equally important to stay the same person you’ve always been. While hanging out with friends or going to an event without your partner can sound like the end is nigh, it’s actually a way of making you two even closer. You’re capable of still being in love with each other even when you’re not constantly together! Amazing!
The longer you two are together, the more likely it is that your finances will merge. The easiest and least stressful way to make sure that happens in a way that benefits both of you is to sit down and talk about it. But since so many people are edgy about talking numbers, it can seem intimidating at first. But how else are you going to know if you should put together a joint bank account? Save for a house? Have the finances for a dog? Schedule an evening to talk with your partner about money and simply make sure neither of you turns it into a discussion of who’s better than who purely based on numbers. Stay empathetic toward your partner’s financial situation and he to yours.
Moving in together can be both exciting and terrifying. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve stayed over each other’s homes. In the end, you’re not going to know if you’re compatible until you’re truly in your own place with one another. You simply can’t escape each other’s quirks anymore and you need to communicate as adults in order to get the trash out on the curb and the dishes in the sink cleaned. You may worry that you’ve become that sort of hum-drum couple who actually talks about bills and creaky doors instead of fun stuff. But that’s what strong couples do. They get the job done.
What tense times have you had with your partner? How did you work through it? Share with us in the comments!