We all have our standards when it comes to who we date. We want someone nice, someone fun, someone we can rely on. But there’s a difference between having realistic standards and having standards that are above who you think you are as a person yourself. If you’re looking for someone that you hope will improve you, then it’s time you first improved yourself. It’s never healthy to expect someone else to make your life better for you, so here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you get involved with a guy.
“Do I Want Someone More Physically Attractive Than Me?”
You need to learn that you’re awesome just the way you are. The fact that you want someone you believe is more attractive than you usually means that you don’t see yourself as all that attractive. And where in the world did you get that idea? Before getting involved with someone—especially someone you perceive to be better looking—you need to sit yourself down and accept the fact that you’re just as attractive. This can be particularly hard in gay world where a heavy emphasis is placed on a certain type of look, but you need to be above that. Because otherwise you’re going to let a whole mess of people miss out on the creature that is you.
“Do I Want Someone With More Money Or A Better Job Than Me?”
We get it: being poor sucks. Any of us that have been in that situation have dreamed about meeting that special someone who just so happens to be rich and will whisk us away from our financial troubles. But there’s a serious flaw with that dream: It’s extremely unlikely that it’s going to happen. If you keep holding out for someone who will take away your anxieties about money, you’re going to cast off a bunch of great love interests. And if you’re somebody who’s middle class or higher…what are you doing wanting someone with even more money than you have? Aside from a few regular struggles, you’re probably pretty comfortable. Don’t be so greedy that you miss out on a great guy just because he’s poor!
“Do I Want Someone More Interesting Than Me?”
What? You think you’re not interesting? So it’s possible this could be true…to some people. Interesting is in the eye of the beholder. A person who loves baking might be bored with a guy who won’t shut up about science fiction and vice versa. If your interests don’t cross over at all, then yes, you two might find each other boring. But that doesn’t automatically mean you are, in fact, boring. Still worried that you might be? Then go ahead and do something about it. Go take some night classes, read up on a random interest, or try a new hobby. There. Instant interesting!
“Do I Want Someone Nicer Or More Generous Than Me?”
This one’s also an issue. Either you don’t think you’re very nice or you’re looking to take advantage of someone else…which pretty much means you’re not very nice. So let’s cut that out right now. Think more about equality: for every nice thing you do for your partner, you hope that they will do something nice back. That’s just how healthy relationships work. There is no nicer or less nice if you’re both doing your best to show each other that you care.
“Do I Want Someone With Less Quirks Or Irritations Than Me?”
Patience is another virtue of healthy relationships. Your future partner is going to have a few things they do that irritate you. There’s no way around that. The key is to learn how to deal with those quirks and turn them around so that you find them endearing. Why? Because they’re simply part of your partner and you love your partner. In a similar vein, if you worry that you have too many quirks yourself, you need to start realizing that they’re just part of you. To get rid of those quirks would be to change who you are. Simply put, there’s a guy out there for you (perhaps many!) that not only won’t find your quirks irritating, but will probably find them cute.
How did you do on those questions? Did you learn anything new about yourself? Tell us in the comments below!