Lying is something that happens in every relationship. For most of us, these often play off as little lies meant to make our partner feel better, such as telling them their new haircut isn’t as awful as it really is. And what’s the harm in that, right? But then there are the serious lies, the ones about cheating or stealing money or going off with friends when your guy was supposed to be working at the office. Such things are definitely less okay than some measly old haircut, but even when you know he’s up to something, how can you find out if he’s actually lying? We have below 5 ways to help you tell!
He Keeps Tweaking The Details
There’s always a story to where someone’s been. The problem is figuring out whether or not what he’s saying is true. According to Ian Kerner, a clinical sexologist in New York City, people who are telling an untrue story won’t be able to remember every detail when asked later to repeat themselves. “Generally, liars mess up and change a detail in their story,” Kerner says. If you notice your guy altering his story every time he tells it, it’s time to get suspicious.
And how can you get your guy to repeat his story in order to see any discrepancies? Easy, he’ll do it himself! According to Howard J. Morris, co-author of Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid, “Men tend to say the truth just once. It’s the truth, after all. It doesn’t need to be repeated three times.” In this way, lying guys can get themselves caught up in a two-fer: they’re repeating themselves out of guilt, and as they do so, they’re more likely to mess up their own story by forgetting the details they’d said earlier.
He Can’t Recite The Alphabet Backwards
Okay, some of us can’t recite the alphabet backwards even on our best day, but that was meant more as a figure of speech anyway. While he’s already repeating his story and getting the details wrong, you can have fun making him slip up even more by making him tell you his story again in a different order. If he says that he left work late, went to grab you dinner, then got into a car accident, ask him what he did before the car accident. And wait… which happened first: the car accident or leaving work? This is a fairly basic example, but you get what we mean. Liars struggle to recite their story in an order different than how they’d originally rehearsed it.
He Subconsciously Brings A Hand To His Face
Dr. Alan Hirsch of The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago says that a person’s nose heats up when they lie, engorging certain tissues in the nose. Even if your partner doesn’t have the skin type that shows a heating of the nose, they’ll still likely begin to bring a hand to their nose or face. A subtle itching at the nose or bringing a finger to a cheek is often an indication that he’s trying to hide what he’s not telling you.
Learn To Catch Micro-expressions
Paul Ekman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California Medical School in San Francisco, says that liars have something called microexpressions. “A microexpression is a very brief expression, usually about a 25th of a second, that is always a concealed emotion,” Ekman says. “Almost everyone — 99% of those we’ve tested in about 10,000 people — won’t see them. But it can be taught.” So do some research online and start training yourself to catch these little buggers!
Have you caught onto any of these telltale signs before? How did you handle the situation? Tell us in the comments!