First dates are incredibly important. It’s when you gain that first impression of a guy, get a feel for any chemistry the two of you may have and decide if he’s actually as cute as you originally perceived him to be. First dates are often the biggest make-or-break for the potential of an entire lifetime together. But while so many people put emphasis on the first date, many tend to neglect the importance of the second. Or rather, how to know whether or not the second date is worth going after at all. You may feel unsure after the first date, but not entirely convinced that you shouldn’t bother moving forward. But what if the second date is as lacklustre as the first? To help you decide whether or not a second date is worthwhile, here are the 5 things you need to know before the first date ends.
His Future Plans
Does he want kids? Does he want to own a home in the next 2 years? Does he want to have 14 dogs? These are the kinds of things that are helpful to put on the table sooner rather than later. If you don’t want kids, are allergic to pets, or plan to travel in a mobile home for the next few years, you need to know if his biggest future plans coincide with yours. If they don’t, it’s best to politely walk away. For either of you to expect the other to alter dreams as impacting as these is just unfair.
His STD Status
If you haven’t knocked boots already, you probably will soon. And if that’s on your mind, the first date is as just as good of a time to bring up “The Talk” as any other. Straight people may baulk at such upfront discussions so early on, but we LGBTQ people get that it’s important. And if the guy’s worth his salt, he’ll understand, too. It doesn’t necessarily matter what his status is. It’s your choice as far as what you do or don’t feel comfortable with. But it’s simply important to know.
Who He’s Out To
You don’t need to make him rattle off every single person he’s ever told, but there are a few big ones you need to know about. A great example would be his immediate family or parents. If he hasn’t told them — and especially if he never plans to — you really have to know sooner rather than later. You need to be prepared to be the invisible boyfriend who not only can’t spend the family holidays with your lover, but just plain don’t exist to his other loved ones. And if you were hoping to get married or legally recognized, it’s probably not going to happen purely for this reason.
How He Treats The Help
It’s incredibly likely your first date will be at some public place like a coffee shop or restaurant. Whether it’s a waiter, a cashier, a barrister or any other kind of employee, pay special attention to how he treats them. Observing such behavior is a solid way of getting a glimpse at his true personality. Is he curt with the waiter or friendly? If you know he has a dollar to easily spare, does he put it in the tip jar at the register? Does he talk to the barrister like an equal or like they are somehow inferior to him? He doesn’t have to constantly be a saint, but be wary of anybody who treats service workers poorly.
How He Spends His Free Time
Depending on what you’re looking for, there’s a big difference between the guy who goes to the gym every evening, the guy who works on his novel after work, and the guy whose greatest goal in life is to finish Breaking Bad. Any of these choices — and more — are fine and dandy in themselves, but only you know which ones are suitable to you. If you like to stay home in the evenings to unwind, but your guy is a clubber, you’re probably going to wind up unhappy.
What have you known about a guy before agreeing to a second date? What were your deal-breakers? Tell us in the comments below!