So you see a cute guy, you ask him out, he says yes, and you go on what you thought had been a great date. And yet after it, poof, he’s gone. Doesn’t return your calls or otherwise makes up excuses to never see you again. Now, as far as you were concerned, your date was pretty awesome. You thought this might be the one. If this sort of thing has only happened to you once or twice, it’s probably because the guy in question was a tasteless human being. But what if it seems to happen more often than not? It’s possible the issue could be the one constant factor: you. Or rather, certain parts of your behavior that are turning off your potential beaus. See our list of bad gay dating habits before it’s too late!
Returning To An Ex
The gay dating pool may be smaller than the hetero one, but that doesn’t mean you should go back to dating any of your exes. (You broke up for a reason. Remember that.) But you don’t need to physically return to your ex in order to let him back into your life. If you still talk about him or bring him up frequently—positively or negatively—then he’s still very much on your brain. And no potential beau is going to be thrilled with you always bringing up your ex. If you want the new guy to stick around, be sure to clam up about that topic for, like, forever. Your ex is in the past. Leave him there.
Rejecting Guys That Aren’t Your Type
There are standards and then there are flourishes. Learn to tell the difference between them and which things you can actually live with or without. Not wanting to date an alcoholic can be understandable, but it’s less so if you don’t want to date him simply because he doesn’t have blue eyes. If you start off a date with your nose up in the air over some trivial characteristic, your guy is going to pick up on that. And even if he can’t quite pinpoint what your problem is, he’s going to know there is one. Enter Tension City. Your date won’t end with the potential for another.
Trying To Act “Gay” Enough Or “Straight” Enough For A Specific Guy
There are all sorts of men out there with all sorts of personalities. This means that while there will be plenty of guys who match yours, there will also be plenty who won’t. Make sure you don’t change yourself for a pretty face, whether they want someone “gayer,” “straighter,” or anything else. First off, you deserve someone who’ll love you as you are. Second, even if you tried to change yourself, the guy’s going to eventually pick up on the discrepancy and label you a fake.
Expecting Your Partner To Be A Mind Reader
If you make it past the preliminaries, keep in mind there’s still room for disaster. Learn how to handle your disagreements and pet peeves, but it’s most important to keep yourself from expecting your partner to always know what’s wrong. If you don’t tell him, then he honestly may not know. Don’t wait around for him to guess correctly or pick up on it himself. If he’s a good guy, odds are he doesn’t realize he’s doing something to upset you. And if you keep waiting for him to figure it out on his own, you’re just going to turn into a pressure cooker. So get comfortable speaking up when necessary and providing willingness to negotiate your troubles. Basically, if you can’t communicate as a mature adult, then you’re not ready for a relationship.
Comparing your relationship to others. The worth of your relationship isn’t justified based on how it looks to or compares with that of other people. Every relationship is different. If you compare because you want your relationship to be something of a social status that you can brag about to friends, then you need to learn how to be a better friend, particularly to the single or lonely ones. If you compare because you want to see if your relationship is successful or not, then you need to turn your self-esteem issues inward. Look at why you feel it’s important for your relationship to mirror that of others and why that makes you feel it’s worthwhile. In the end, a successful relationship is one that works for the people who are in it. Simple as that.
How many of these bad dating habits have you done in the past? Did you notice a change in your dating luck when you got rid of them? Share with us in the comments!