With the explosion of social technology in the late 90s, dating techniques have become that much trickier. There used to just be the worry of how to call someone, but it’s since moved to texting, IMing and Facebook stalking on top of the good ol’ calling anxieties. So what’s a guy to do? When do you call and when do you text in your new gay relationship? The bottom line is pretty easy to understand: if the purpose of the contact is light, go for a text. If it’s heavy, go for a call. But if that little piece of information isn’t enough for you, take a look at our quick-list of when it’s best to call and when it’s best to text!
You Haven’t Been On a First Date Yet
Unless you two were friends beforehand, don’t be texting him back and forth during the several days leading up to your first date. You risk imagining him as someone he’s not, potentially also building up the pressure to make the date go well. If you really want to make contact before your first date, you should call.
You Are a Dry or Sarcastic Person
Wittier senses of humor are great, but they can translate as bitterness and cruelty through the written word. If the relationship is new or your guy otherwise still doesn’t have a firm grasp of your style, refrain from any dry or sarcastic tones in your texts. Save it for phone calls or in-person conversations.
You Have Something Important to Say
You want to break up? Your brother’s getting married? Your neighbor’s dog just died? Any good, important thing doesn’t deserve to be whittled down to just a text, and any bad, important thing deserves face-to-face consolation, conversation and respect. Call at the very least, but face-to-face is the best way to go.
You Want to Show Affection
Having a busy day and just wanting him to know you’re thinking about him? Sending a quick text or two is the absolute best thing you could do. It takes only 5 seconds out of your day, but it’s 5 seconds that’ll mean everything to him.
You Want to Tease Him
Ah, sexting, where would we be without you? If you have a fun, romantic or otherwise special night planned—whether or not he already knows about it—text him little things throughout the day to whet his appetite. It’ll drive him nuts by the time he gets to you, which is exactly what you want.
It’s After Your First Date
If you had a great time and are looking to follow-up with your potential new boyfriend, don’t fear a polite or flirty text! Gone are the days of waiting 24-48 hours or only calling him up on the phone. In fact, calling him up would be the route to make you look clingy or creepy, while a text is a surefire way to let him know how interested you are without coming on too strong.
Ta-da, here’s a bonus twofer! Never text or call your man when you’re drunk. The only two exceptions to this rule are 1) If you’ve known him for a really long time, and/or 2) You’re smart enough to know you shouldn’t be driving yourself home. Otherwise, you risk making yourself look irreparably ridiculous.
So what triumphs or follies have you had when texting or calling in a relationship? Tell us in the comments below!