If you’re on a first (or later) date with a guy, it’s likely because you’re scoping him out to be a good boyfriend. But how does he stack up as a true candidate? We have some points of interest to help you figure out whether he’s boyfriend material or not.
He doesn’t check his phone when on a date with you
Somebody who’s more interested in you than the Facebook feed of his best friend’s lover’s neighbours hairstylist? What sorcery is this?! Honestly, the less he looks at his phone, the more points he should be gaining with you. It means he respects you as a person and recognizes that real-time is, you know, real-time. He hasn’t been lost to the kraken of technology. You don’t need to teach a robot to love.
He has his shit together
He doesn’t have to own a house or drive a fancy car or have a college degree or wear nothing but tailored suits. He just needs to know what he wants to do in life and is trying to make that a reality. Regardless of fashion, class, or economic status, anybody who’s doing their best to achieve their dreams can be a great catch. You simply don’t want a loafer. Loafers are the guys that can’t understand the meaning of the “C” word. And when it comes to a boyfriend, you want one that can actually commit.
He keeps to his word
If he says he’s going to be there at five, he’s there at five. If he says he’ll get back to you about being free on Friday, he’ll actually get back to you. Beware the man who makes promises he can’t keep. No matter how small those promises may appear, they still equal a lack of respect and care toward you not only as a person, but how he feels about you. I’m sorry to say that if a guy frequently forgets plans you both made or always shows up late, you’re just not that important to him. He can argue against that until he’s blue in the face, but words can never excuse actions. Remember that.
He cares what you have to say
Listening skills are great on their own, as is human consideration and the most basic of memory retention. But mix them together and you’ve got yourself a true winner. If you say you love giraffes and two months later he buys you a stuffed giraffe for your birthday, Jesus Christ, grab that guy and then try to clone him. Many of us want in on that.
He isn’t cruel to you
Relationships are built on trust, love, and mutual respect. If he ever hits you, threatens you, puts you down, calls you names, or plays mind games with you, then you need to get out. Now. (Even if he bought you that stuffed giraffe. The two behaviours don’t balance out by a long shot.) Abuse in the LGBTQ world is a very real thing, but is often left unchecked. It can start early on, after a few months, or even after you’ve moved in together or married. No matter when it starts, remember what he’s doing to you isn’t normal. You don’t deserve it. Starting from the first date onward, keep an eye out for any warning signs, including: if he treats waiters like they’re beneath him, if he has an unnecessarily aggressive driving personality, and if he ever dismisses your thoughts, feelings, or opinions. While admittedly limited, these can all be red flags that he believes he’s more important than other people. And that will often include you.