We hear the term ‘falling in love” so often and it’s something we have all done to some degree or at least fantasized about. We are certainly never ashamed to admit we are falling, or have fallen in love.
Rarely, however, do you ever hear anyone talk about “falling in hate”. Yet we all do it. Maybe we don’t admit it to ourselves and that is why we never talk about it. Have you ever been on chat rooms, talking to or seeking local singles and heard them say they fell into hate? I’d be surprised, but ask around. It would definitely make for interesting conversation.
What makes us go from loving someone to hating them? We once were so crazy about them and now…..can’t wait to be away from them. Do we change? Do they change? Or is it that they stop paying attention to us? They don’t make us feel the same way and we still feel the need to be seen, so often we look elsewhere, turn to someone who does see us.
The Japanese have a saying that translates essentially to; ‘art becomes invisible with familiarity’. As beautiful as we once were to someone, or vice versa, after a while we stop seeing it. Often jealousy can cause us to fall into hate too. Even in non-romantic or intimate relationships we find our jealousy can grow into hate.
Let’s look at some ways we can prevent ourselves from falling out of love and into hate. We all can agree, there is nothing good about hate.
Try to identify just why you are falling into hate. If it is lack of attention, try to reignite your spark. Change your look. Go somewhere new together. Take a fresh look at your “old art”. If you are feeling jealous of someone, start with admitting it! I often joke to my friends that the best way to tell if someone is jealous is by hearing the words; “I’m NOT jealous”! Find out why you are jealous and instead admire them for it and try to add an aspect of that admiration into your own life, to better yourself. Putting out someone else’s flame just makes the world a darker place.
Fill yourself with love and gratitude every day. Look at your life and your job and everything around you with a happy and joyful attitude. Tell yourself over and over that you are happy, appreciate what you have and don’t ask more of others than what they are. If you have found love once, then you are a loveable person. That is a big thing in this world. Don’t throw it away. Maybe we should start saying that we rise into love and fall into hate. Then maybe we would value love so much more. It is a very valuable thing indeed. The most important thing in the world!
Be happy kiddies and love often, you never run out.