Honestly, the term “sexaholic” gets thrown around quite a bit these days. Apparently it’s become synonymous with “slut;” which in itself has morphed into quite the umbrella term. If you sleep with more than one guy, you’re a sexaholic. If you partake in activities that totals to 3+ people, you’re a sexaholic. If you’re polyamorous, you’re a sexaholic. If you think about sex during your workday, you’re a sexaholic.
Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Will somebody please crack open a dictionary?
The true concept of a sexaholic is like that of an alcoholic. Emphasis on the “holic” bit; it means you indulge in something so much that it’s infringing on other aspects of your life in unhealthy, damaging or dangerous ways. You’re bona fide addicted—and that’s a bad thing.
So now you’re all freaking out, right? “Oh, God, am I an actual sexaholic?!” Calm down, drama queens, this concern is actually fairly easy to sort out.
Is sex constantly on your mind? Like, you can’t focus on anything else for more than a literal minute?
If you’re a teenage boy, don’t panic because you’re automatically exempt from this question—and if you are a teenage boy, what are you doing here? Get the hell out of here before we get in trouble! But seriously, how’s your concentration? Can you watch a 30-minute television episode without thinking about sex? A YouTube video? A freaking commercial? If you’re not sure, keep tabs on yourself. Start jotting down the day, time, place and situations in which you think about sex. Look back at your notes after two weeks. You’ll know.
Have you lost a job, friend, or partner due to your love of sex?
It’s one thing if your sex drive is higher than your partner’s, it’s another thing if he leaves you because you’re so horny that you won’t respect his boundaries. It’s one thing if your brain occasionally drifts off to sexy fun-times while you’re working a boring shift, it’s another thing if you get fired from your job for browsing porn. If you’ve ever ended up in these situations or don’t actually see the difference between these scenarios, you might have a problem.
Are you incapable of staying monogamous?
Of course, this only applies to people who are in a consensually monogamous relationship to begin with. But if you’ve agreed to such terms and believe in them, but cannot, canNOT, stick to them, that’s a red flag. (Note: This last one isn’t an invite for the common cheating jerk to have a convenient excuse. “Oh, but I can’t help it. I’m a sexaholic!” Again, if you can’t tell the difference, you need to do some thinking.
If you answered yes to any of the above three questions, you might want to consider self-diagnosing your feelings and do a medical-specific search on the great Google machine. This isn’t to say that three questions asked by li’l ol’ me somehow guarantees you’re a sexaholic, but a great start to find out if you might need help.