Approaching strangers can be incredibly difficult for many of us. We tend to get very self-conscious, wondering how the person will read us and what conclusions they’ll draw based on the assumptions of our appearance. In mere seconds, a person can decide whether or not they want anything to do with us. Talk about pressure! But with the right approach, it can be easier to talk to other guys, especially when you feel more prepared and savvy in the ways of being awesome.
Get Used to Approaching Strangers
First things first: if you are incredibly shy and can’t even ask the store clerk for directions, how in the world are you going to approach someone to flirt? The latter is difficult for even the most seasoned dating vets, so it’s time you boned up on the basics of talking to strangers. The best way is to just jump right in: ask people for the time, for the way to the theatre, compliment somebody’s shoes or shirt. And then just simply be on your way. Once you get used to approaching strangers in a low-stress way, you’ll be better apt to tackle approaching strangers with romantic intentions.
Be a Stalker
If you have a guy in your sights, take a moment to observe the situation. What’s his mood looking like? How talkative does he appear with other people? How is he dressed? What’s he holding (a book, a bag, a specific kind of drink)? Take note of such things and use them to your advantage. When you approach him, you’ll know you have a better chance for a positive reaction if you bring up fiction (as opposed to shark hunting) if he’s reading a book, or Dunkin’ Donuts (as opposed to Starbucks) based on the coffee cup he’s holding.
Analyze if it’s a Good Time to Approach Him
This is key. And something many guys don’t quite seem to grasp. If you see someone you find interesting, that doesn’t give automatic consent for you to approach him. Just because you think it’s a good idea doesn’t mean he will. And if you approach him when he’s not feeling it, you won’t have a chance. Are you crammed on a train during rush hour? Does he have headphones on? Is he ranting on the phone about a business deal that went sour? These are all good indications that you should leave him alone, however cute he may be.
Pick a Good Opening Line
Don’t go for a tired old pick-up that’s obviously a tired old pick-up. Instead, use one of the more casual, updated varieties. Ask for help with something small, like the time or to reach something at the grocery store (this is a great one for us shorter guys!). If you’re stuck standing in a crowd, comment to him on something happening around you. In any of these situations, his response to you is the perfect indicator as to whether or not this could go anywhere.
Read his Cues
This is another one that some guys just don’t seem to grasp. If he responds favorably to your request for small talk or his opinion of the book he’s reading, that’s great. Keep it up! But if he’s frowning, distracted, or otherwise immune to your charms, just leave him be. He’s either not interested, not into men, already taken, or just plain has his mind on more important things he’s dealing with in life right now. Never take any of these personally. The beauty of the above approaches is you can play them off as you simply being friendly. Just smile, thank him for his time and walk off. No harm done.