January 2016 - Hardline Chat
Well kiddies it’s 2016 and we have a fresh new year to make our lives better. This is actually my favourite time of year. Though I do hate the weather, but it can be somewhat helpful to have the snow and blow outside because it gives us a chance to be introspective. There’s nothing like taking time to take inventory of our lives. Cold weather makes us stay in and look for the indoor things that we neglected to do when the weather was fine and kept us outside. While I’ve been doing that, I got thinking about relationships. I mean love relationships. Ah, the feeling of a new relationship; the excitement, the yearning, the fulfillment of love shared. But it led me to thinking too about the endings of relationships. It is inevitable that a relationship will end. If we are lucky we find ‘the one’ and it lasts ‘til death, but let’s face it, that happens rarely and most of us have gone through at least one break-up. It is a painful experience and since I love and care about you all, dear readers, here is my best advice for ending a relationship. Whether you are the ‘breaker-upper’ or the ‘breaker-uppee’, the most important thing is acceptance. Accepting that it is over as quickly as possible is the best thing for both of you. In my vast experience, trying to resuscitate a dead relationship is pointless and painful. It prolongs the pain and can cause a lot of frustration on both sides. Because let’s face it; the love ran out on one side and the other party still has some love left. In the human condition we have a very hard time accepting truth over reality. Talking it out never fixes it. You should never play the blame game either. It doesn’t matter who is at fault. It didn’t work out and just say that. Never leave a person feeling like they could have made it work if only they’d done something differently. That makes it harder to get over. It’s over. Face it and move on. You can never talk the other party into staying with you and you only embarrass and humiliate yourself. It’s like partying. When you are out socializing and feeling great you love everyone, but the next day you are just ashamed and regretful. Don’t do that to yourself. It’s painful enough finding out it’s over, at the very least if you accept it and move on then you can feel proud of yourself that you didn’t beg. All the euphemisms for breaking up, taking a break, slowing down, taking a step back, mean the same thing; it’s over. Let it go. (let it go, let it goooohh, can you picture beautiful Queen Elsa belting it out over the snowy mountains?) Then take some time to get to know you again. Be independent for a while. Go have some fun being single again. Don’t rush into a new relationship. You’ve changed and grown during the course of that last relationship. Find all the great new things that you are and relish them. Really love the new you and have some fun playing the field. That is where a dating system can really be a great thing. You can shop around and also get some much needed attention from some new people and in the simple exercise of describing yourself and making a profile for yourself, you come to find all the wonderful things you are and have become through the course of past relationships. Remember to be honest, there is nothing more wonderful and unique than the real you! Fall in love as often as you can and never dread the end. Endings are just a way to open the doors for the next amazing chapter in the story of you!
Happy New Year and Happy new Loves!